I’m confused about my sexual or gender identity

Who am I and who am I attracted to? It’s common to feel confused and alone if you think you might be LGBTQIA+. It can really help to talk and meet other people who are also exploring their sexual orientation and gender identity.

It can be helpful to think of sexuality being made up of three parts:

  • Sexual orientation – whether you fancy people who are the same or the opposite sex as you are, or both
  • Sexual identity – how you choose to describe yourself and express yourself to others
  • Sexual behaviour – what you do and who you do it with

It’s common for young people to experiment while they’re trying to work out their sexual orientation. For example you might experiment with the opposite sex because this it’s seen as the ‘normal’ thing to do, when you actually fancy people of your own sex.

The ideal situation is for all three parts (sexual orientation, identity and behaviour) to match up – so you feel confident in who you are and able to express this to others. But it can be tough to get there and affect your self confidence along the way.

GAY-GLOS supports lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and other people exploring their sexual or gender identity, their families and friends. They offer confidential services for LGBTQIA+ people in Gloucestershire and beyond.

Call 07903 472899 (this number is not staffed at all times but you can leave a message and they’ll get back to you) or email admin@gay-glos.org.

GAY-GLOS also runs a young people’s social group in Gloucester for LGBTQIA+ people, and those exploring their sexual orientation and gender identity. Get in touch if you’re 14–18 and would like to join.


Mermaids UK gives support to young people up to the age of 19 who have issues with their gender identity.

Mermaids UK

“Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.”

– John Barrymore